she smelled like a LAN party
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
