moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
