Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize