Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
