Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
