Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
