D3 body, D1 cock
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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