That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
