I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize