I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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