ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
