Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
