Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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