Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
