U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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