she woke up with a sticky ear
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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