OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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