i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
