Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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