that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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