I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
