yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
