i think my mom watched the whole time
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
