I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
