my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
