i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
