So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
