I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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