my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
