if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
