I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
