i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
