I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize