At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
