I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
