the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
