i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
