nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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