dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
