I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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