Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
