watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize