eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
