Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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