"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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