Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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