We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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