sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
