at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
