State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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