Swine flu. Run for my life!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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