Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize