I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
