HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize