I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
