quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
