U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The air was thick with penises
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
