she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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