he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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