I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
