I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
